PART 2: Satan’s Dirty Secret #1

On a broad scope, abortion devalues EVERYONE, born and unborn. So, it is not just the problem of those involved directly or indirectly. It is everyone’s problem, especially the CHURCH‘s as we’ll discuss in a bit. There are people of my generation who were told by their mom that they wished they aborted them. The very option of abortion devalues human life.  

When we realize how far-reaching abortion’s tentacles are, we’ll begin to take ownership and recognize the roles we can individually and CORPORATELY play in overcoming it 

Knowing this, the paradox is that RELIEF is often the first emotion experienced following abortion. Relief often coincides with denial. In our last session we talked about how abortion affects moms. This session will focus on the collateral damage on those closest to the situation, the dads, grandparents, and siblings, as well as future generations. 

The first category we will cover of others affected is THE DAD.  

The dad is affected in different ways depending on his level of INVOLVEMENT and his STAGE of grief. The only reason he may not be affected directly is if he doesn’t know about it, though he will most likely be affected because of the trauma that the mom experiences if she remains in relationship with him. 

If he pressured the mom to abort, he also may initially feel relief and many of the same aspects of DENIAL that the mom experiences. 

If he did not want the mom to abort, he will likely skip over most of the symptoms of denial and move directly into SORROW and possibly ANGER. Whether or not the dad is in agreement with the abortion, Dr. Vincent Rue, pioneer researcher on abortion’s effect on men – says that a man is more likely to internalize feelings or openly express them in culturally prescribed “masculine” ways – anger, aggression, control. 

Many possible symptoms dads experience are included in your manual. Listed in your manual are: Grave concern for their partner’s well-being, Inability to communicate with their partner about the experience, Risk-taking behaviors, Impotence, Grieving and sadness, Obsessive thoughts of the lost child, Desire for another child and subsequent behavior to try to achieve that goal, Suicidal ideation or behavior, Inability to sort out the feelings they are experiencing, Emotional abuse and/or spousal battering, Pro-life or pro-choice activism. Dads also may experience rage, addictions, nightmares, struggles with relationships, inability to trust friends, sexual compulsions/dysfunction, sleeplessness, fear of failure or rejection, loneliness, numbness, guilt and shame, self-hatred, greater tendencies to becoming angry or violent, self-esteem and confidence problems, fear of relationships, and a sense of lost manhood. 

Next, we’ll talk about the GRANDPARENTS – of the aborted child. They react differently depending on their involvement. All roles have consequences. 

Parents who encouraged or FORCED their child to abort – Can experience many of the same effects as their child. 

Parents who did not KNOW their child was pregnant and aborted – There may be obvious changes in the attitudes of their child and relationship disturbances of which the parents never know the root cause. 

Parents who allowed their child to make their own CHOICE about aborting – Often there is guilt for not being more involved. 

Parents who actively tried to STOP the abortion but had no legal standing – Much more susceptible to pain and family trauma. Grief is immediate and profound. 

Parents who find out LATER that their son or daughter lost a child to abortion – Possibly many of the same effects as their child or the same as those who allowed them to make their own choice. 

What about SIBLINGS – of the Aborted Child? They are affected by mom’s or dad’s treatment of them or by learning some children are wanted and others are not. 

By aborting one child all children may be DEVALUED in a family or treated differently than they would be. They may be abused, neglected, or obsessed over in some way. 

MILLENNIALS were the first generation to be completely optional. Any of their siblings could have been aborted. 

One of the common validations for abortion is to prevent child abuse or neglect. But in 1978, Canadian Psychiatrist, Dr. Philp G. Ney found that abortion: 

decreases an individual’s instinctual restraint against RAGE toward dependents in one’s care. 

diminishes cultural taboo against aggressing toward the defenseless. 

Increases HOSTILITY between the generations. 

DEVALUES children, therefore the value of caring for them. 

increases guilt and self-hatred, which the parent takes out on the CHILD. 

increases hostile frustration between sexes with children as SCAPEGOATS. 

cuts the developing mother-infant BOND, diminishing mothering capability. 

Even if a child never learns of an aborted sibling, they will likely experience AT LEAST one or more outcome of what was discovered by Dr. Ney. 

A child who finds out their mom or dad aborted a sibling without being gently told and given room to process, may experience their own TRAUMA. Even if they are told, they need time and space to process and for their parent(s) to follow up with how they are feeling.  

Future Generations: Child-abuse and neglect are often GENERATIONAL. (About 30% of the time) If the root cause of the abuse is never identified and healed, there is a high likelihood that it will be passed down to the next generation.