PART 3: CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
This is an Extremely difficult topic and therefore there is very little training on it in the church about how to avoid it, the impact on children as they move through their teen years and adulthood, and sadly churches almost never discuss how to heal it.
One in FOUR girls and one in SIX boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18.
We must discuss this subject alongside other forms of sexual sin because the effects are enormous in society as well as the church. Many of those who are molested as children don’t receive effective counseling and reprogramming of their brains. Many will become promiscuous as teens and into adulthood. Many will likely have deviant sexual leanings such as homosexuality, bisexuality, gender dysphoria, etc., all which are now widely accepted as normal and healthy
But sexual abuse leaves deep, lifelong soul wounds. Shame (& the fear of perpetrator threats) prevents telling a safe adult and getting the help and healing that are desperately needed. Resulting wounds can affect any adult romantic relationship, including marriage.
The enemy PERVERTS what God intended to be pure and holy and beautiful, especially for those who were molested as children.
The danger of child sexual abuse and knowledge that it is sin is INSTINCTUAL and logical – it is how God made us.
Why does child feel shame regarding molestation when they have no education or training to know this is not acceptable? Even the child of an atheist feels shame from it. There is a breach of trust that can’t articulate
Being told by a perpetrator, who is often known and trusted, to not tell anyone indicates this is a shameful secret and that others won’t understand. Fear for their own lives or the lives of others if threatened may cause additional shame.
God created us to know that random immoral sexual activity is not okay long before we’re even old enough to develop sexual desire. The child believes he or she bears the same guilt as the perpetrator. There is rarely anyone to tell them this is not true because of the secrecy involved.
Those who experience molestation or view pornography as children get a warped sense of what it means to have a HEALTHY sexual relationship. They are lead to believe that sex is only for gratification and it’s perfectly okay outside marriage.
Despite the shame and violation, sexual sensation and desire is awakened. Often the perpetrator has so groomed his or her victim such that the child is drawn in to the attention he or she is not finding elsewhere. It is extremely confusing, the paradox between the shame and the sexual gratification.
This confusion drives the victim to pursue it in other unhealthy situations. Moreover, since the victim is not given a choice in their first experiences, this lack of choice may become imprinted on them such that they feel this is normal into adulthood. They don’t know for sure that they do have a choice to say no to unwelcome sexual advances.
Sex EDUCATION is often a form of sexual abuse. It further perverts the innocence and beauty of God’s intentions for sex. It perverts what is normal and healthy in children’s minds. Girls and boys don’t need sex education, per se, but they need to understand how God made their bodies, created for holy purposes. They lose the ability to see the preciousness and uniqueness of their bodies. God designed our bodies, male and female, and His very design speaks of His intent for them.
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