PART 2: THE SCIENCE BEHIND SEX AND BONDING
Here are some of the Chemicals Released in Sex – especially in a healthy relationship.
Dopamine – This is also released in aerobic exercise, socializing, shopping, gambling, or taking drugs like cocaine.
Opioids – These create a state of awe and oneness, joy.
Oxytocin (often referred to as the love hormone) – allows bonding and development of trust. In women, it induces labor contractions, signals release of breastmilk, and promotes bonding with children and spouse.
Let’s talk about Oxytocin and Bonding
Oxytocin is released with affection and sexual contact. It increases bonding in a MONOGAMOUS relationship.
There is scientific evidence that multiple sexual partners can lessen the oxytocin release, and therefore the bonding ability of a relationship.
However, this has only been proven in animals, specifically a type of rat, and has not yet been studied sufficiently in humans.
Still, it can explain part of the problem of infidelity and the fact that increasingly, people are not getting married or staying married.
Oxytocin stimulates the reward center of the brain like a drug. This can partially explain why losing a partner one is bonded with causes “DEPRESSION and mourning upon separation or death.
Other studies show: High oxytocin levels in a man causes him to favor his partner’s face over that of other attractive women and stimulates him to keep a bigger social distance from other attractive women.
And Higher oxytocin level in men and women creates a more positive outlook of their overall relationship characteristics.
One study established a strong association between number of sex partners and later SUBSTANCE abuse, especially for women.
We need to train ourselves and our young men and women to not look for that “oxytocin-release” through sex with just anyone but wait for the woman or man God has chosen for them to fulfill His purposes of LIFETIME bonding and fulfillment in marriage.
If having multiple sexual partners before marriage lessens the bonding and fulfillment within marriage, men and women engaging in this behavior DEFRAUD one another and their future spouses. They also defraud themselves. 1 Thessalonians 4:4-8.
There are two sexual scenarios for a woman
In the first scenario, a Woman feels safe and CARED–FOR over the long-term where she feels loved. In a good relationship, this equals sexual satisfaction.
Her creativity is heightened, her confidence boosted. There is a sense of oneness present. Dopamine, opioids, and oxytocin are all released. The healthy marriage covenant provides the woman with a safe space for vulnerability. Her husband is her covering and the oxytocin in both of them binds them together.
In the second scenario, a Woman does NOT feel safe or cared-for (in an uncommitted or poor marital relationship) and this equals or results in limited or eventually no sexual satisfaction. It sometimes leads to overindulgences like shopping, eating, drinking, etc. to supply dopamine.
Diminished oxytocin and opioid releases promote frustration, disappointment, and lowered self-esteem. Married women in these circumstances CAN have some sexual satisfaction with effort, but it may not last over time.
Unmarried women CAN have sexual satisfaction but not the satisfying blessing of God on their relationship and all the other good things that can come from a godly sexual relationship. Without the marriage covenant, it is not a safe space for vulnerability because there is no long-term commitment.
These sexual scenarios also affect the man in the relationship. His sexual satisfaction and his wife’s response to him will be in direct correlation and proportion to the way he treats her on a day-to-day basis.
Regardless of trauma or experience from the past; loving, trustworthy behavior always gets a better response than uncaring, irresponsible behavior!
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